On February 16, 2021, I was involved in a terrible accident. I currently live in NJ where we’d had back to back snow storms at the time. Due to the amount of snow we got, proper cleaning of the roads never occurred. We were officially in a State of Emergency. It was just drivable enough, but there are mountains of snow that took up damn near half a lane, especially near exits, which is where and how my incident occurred.
Scene: it’s 4:57am so it’s dark. My car is all black. My uniform, black. Me, also black LoL I was coming up on my exit and am very familiar with the snow mountain there. I’d already begin to slow down. There was a 18 wheeler in the middle lane, and I’m on its right. I tell myself I should go around, but I know if I do, I’d miss my exit and be late. So I decided to continue to decelerate, given that the exit is 15MPH. Bad idea!!! BAD FREAKIN IDEA.
The car hydroplaned into oncoming traffic, luckily hitting no one, but when the wheels gained traction, the car suddenly whipped to the right and I went straight into the snow mountain. The truck flipped, trunk up, and when it landed I rolled about 5 or 6 times. I was in shock. When I realized what was happening, I let go of the wheel and took my foot off the pedals. I just let it happen and that may have saved my life.
I’d landed on the drivers side. The airbags did not deploy. I sat there for a while waiting for help but no one came. I tried to kick out the windshield but didn’t have enough strength. So I looked up thinking I could just climb out the passenger door. I saw that I was bleeding but couldn’t see from where. I rummaged for my phone and found only my wallet. I decided to use my Apple Watch to call for help. It was crushed and that’s when I saw my hand. I couldn’t feel it. But saw a bloody mess with my index finger crooked and hanging over the others. I decided not to look again. I had to get out.
Not being able to climb out or kick my way out, I used my hand and feet the best I could to push back the soft dirt beneath the crushed drivers window to create a space for me to crawl out. Once out, now standing in the rain, I headed to the highway to flag down help. No one stopped. I waited for a break on traffic and crossed to the other side. Still no one stopped. My job was across the rest of the highway, and I knew someone was there with a phone.
After crossing the highway I had to climb one of those dirty ass snow mountains to get into the parking lot. A passer by saw me and stopped. I told her to call my husband and kept walking. She asked where I was going and I told her I had to go to work 🥴😂
I can see me coworker parked in his car, windows down. As I’m walkin up this is the conversation.
Me: You need to call an ambulance
Him: You’re late
Me: Call an ambulance!
Him: You’re never late
Me: Call an ambulance tearfully
Him: (I guess at this point I’m close enough for him to see) Holy shit, what happened?!
Me: car crash, call the cops
Him: yea yea yea, ok. Let me call the supervisor…
Y’all. This man called the job first!! To tell them I wasn’t comin in!! 🤦🏽♀️
At that point the lady from before pulls up and tells me help is on the way. I grab the office keys from the company car and open the office to sit in the lobby. Here is where I notice how much I’m bleeding. In seconds the floor in front of me is a pool of my own blood.
Cops come. I tell the story. Fire fighters arrive. I tell the story. Paramedics Arrive. I tell the story. I told that story over 10 times and no one attempted to stop my bleeding. They cut off my shirt and coat, asked a few questions and loaded me on the stretcher. In the ambulance the bleeding wasn’t controlled. Nor was it controlled in the ER. I was in terrible pain and the morphine, we learned, doesn’t work for me. No one noticed after 3 rounds within 2 hours and my pain never lessened.
After being in the ER for nearly 4 hours (just before 10am) I was finally given lidocaine injections. My hand was doused wit saline and stitched a little. When the dr reached the palm side I explained it wasn’t numb, he told me not to worry and proceeded to stitch through my skin. I felt every pull, tug, and pinch. It was then hastily wrapped and X-Rayed. I was told I suffered de-gloving, multiple fractures, knuckle bone completely gone, tendons severely damaged.
They admitted me. The surgeon talked to me about my options, and I chose amputation. Given how recent the accident was (same day), the fact that I was still in shock, the fact that I have children, and given the opinions of my family he decided to give me two days to think about it. I still decided on the amputation, while he persisted on reconstruction. However, once in the operating room, he realized that reconstruction was not possible. The crap job that they had done in the ER left remains of debris and glass in the large open wound. I lost most of the soft tissue in the back of my hand. There was not enough viable tissue as he had hoped and he HAD to amputate.
I am so happy and grateful that this accident has allowed me to have a new lease on life, learn to love myself wholeheartedly, and pursue my hearts calling.
There… now you know the story behind the hand, can we get back to the birthing world now? 🥰
Tea & Biscuits straight to your inbox! Sign up for my newsletter.
–
9 Digit Care 